More tranny stories later!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
