I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
