He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
