You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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