don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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