i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
