I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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