I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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