I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You are the jesus of drinking
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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