I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
