No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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