i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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