Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
