i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
