Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
