Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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