You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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