I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
