Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
