Non-Jews are for practice
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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