You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
