I didn't shave. On purpose
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
