people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
