I accidentally burped into my bong.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
