I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Acid is not a monday night drug
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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