sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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