It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
