U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
