hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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