sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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