Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
