just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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