I want to stick my p in your. b.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
