Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
