White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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