you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
