so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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