I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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