He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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