I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
