sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
