By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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