dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
