so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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