i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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