home. puking in laundry basket.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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