I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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