I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
