Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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