I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so let's talk penis.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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