...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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