Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
