I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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